The Game Should Change for ME

I get really tired of seeing the phrase "I pay my $15, I should get __________." There is a sense of entitlement that comes with paying money, the idea that "the customer is always right." If something is wrong, then it should be changed to suit you and should keep changing until you are happy. Because, seriously, you're the customer! There's no way what makes you happy could be a bad thing, right?

I touched (very) briefly upon this in the podcast I participated in a few weeks ago, but there are some things that are not Blizzard's job to fix, but are rather self-created problems that people need to take responsibility for fixing on their own, and not try to make Blizzard create policies and mechanics that fix them for you.

The obvious one that I am going to focus on is social control in guilds. This came up in the podcast, how some see the raid lockout change as an attempt to remove social pressures within guilds to run 10 mans and 25 mans, to gear up alts, to do this or that above and beyond the simple prospect of bringing your main to raids with proper consumables and gear. This creates a great amount of pressure upon an individual to do a large amount of playing they may or may not wish to do. By changing around the raid structure, Blizzard will possibly eliminate this sort of pressure.

In actuality, it is Blizzard treating its players like children. Don't think so? Let me explain.

The idea that all guilds have these same pressures is, of course, a sweeping generalization. With millions of players across the world, there are a myriad of guilds out there, and they are always recruiting. When you find a guild that is doing what you want to do, and you find the social pressures to not be of your liking, it is not time for the game to change for you to remove those social pressures. It is time for you, as an individual, to weigh the pros and the cons and decide, for yourself, if the pros outweigh the cons, and, if not, to find a new guild with pressures you can live with.

But what about being in a guild with people for forever! They're my friends, I can't just abandon them because I'm unhappy!

1. If they are your friends, they will want you to be where you are happy.
2. If they are your friends, and the pressures they are putting on you make you miserable, you should be able to have a frank and honest discussion about what is troubling you and try to fix it so that you do not have to leave.
3. If they are your friends, and you are not a jerk about it, you should still be able to remain friends after you leave.
4. If these don't happen? They are not very good friends, or you left in a bad way (or both).

I'm on a small server and there aren't a lot of guild choices! What do I do?

1. Weigh your pros and cons. Is transferring off server or being guildless more of a con than staying in a guild where you are unhappy?
2. Can you not communicate your unhappiness to the guild leaders in a way that is not whining or accusatory, or are they hostile to your politely worded suggestions or problems?
3. Have you considered starting your own guild?
4. Was the guild always this way (i.e. is this what you signed up for), or did it change while you were a member?

You're awful preachy, Bell. What do you think about joining and leaving guilds, smarty pants?

1. Know what you're signing up for. Joining a guild only to complain about policies already in place just shows the "15 dollars" mentality. In a guild, it's not just your money. It's the money of everyone there, and your fifteen bucks pales in comparison.
2. Be reasonable. Joining a guild, especially a raiding guild, and being unhappy with having to actually work for your gear, or pay attention, or being coddled through content when that is clearly not what the guild wants to do, is unreasonable. Expecting respect and reasonable consideration of (new) issues you may have (i.e. not ones they have dealt with before and have policies already in place for) is not unreasonable. Not getting it? Then you shouldn't stick around in an abusive relationship, Bella, no matter how sparkly the vamp--er, epics, are in the sun.
3. Understand that rules change when you're working with a team. Yes, WoW is a game. Yes, you shouldn't play when it stops being totally fun. But joining a guild means it is not just about your fun anymore. What? Preposterous. No, it's true. You have to care about other people's fun, maybe to the detriment of your own. Don't like it? Don't stay.
4. Leave when you are ready to leave. If you are unhappy, explore your options, and then leave (appropriately). Making excuses, waffling about, or server transferring in the middle of the night (like a coward /cough) are all bad choices. Just do it right and do it well and do it when you're starting to get unhappy, not when you're frustrated and strung out because you've given them just one more chance ten times.
5. Be a constructive, active part in shaping your guild social dynamic Don't be a whiner, don't be a complainer, don't be a [expletive deleted]. Be a helpful guild member, who sets standards and works with others to identify, adjust and remedy problems. It is much easier to be happy when you have a hand in the process. And if you can't and this makes you unhappy? See point number 4.

When Blizzard tries to remove possible social control problems in their guilds, they treat their players like children who cannot handle their own problems or networking. Ignoring them just making new problems they'll have to handle, they are teaching their players that social control is not their responsibility, that complaining for a band-aid is more effective than working under their own power. They teach the "power" of the $15 is more effective than simply allowing their players to adapt to like adults.

I have been in a great many guilds. I have been in guilds stuck on Lich King, in casual guilds, in guilds that have achieved faction first status and then fallen apart. I have been in PvP guilds, in friends and family guilds, and been guildless. My current guild is a hardmode guild with no stringent requirements on alts or ten mans, and is top Alliance-side. I lead/co-lead raids on Saturdays for people's alts and mains without 25 man raiding guilds and am relatively successful. There are options out there; you just have to find them.

Social Differences in Raiding

The following occurred as I was talking with a friend about raiding and how there's a difficult balance between doing necessary content and content people want to do. It's a balance of needs, wants and social structure that's much different than just playing the game by yourself.

(1:41:43 AM) Paradox: It's a game. If you don't want to go on that raid, why not just not go?

(1:43:28 AM) Bellwether: it's kind of different once you're in a raiding guild

(1:44:10 AM) Bellwether: it's like being on a sports team. People depend on you. If you decide to just up and not come because, for one night, it doesn't benefit you, what incentive does the guild as a whole have to do things that do benefit you?

(1:44:27 AM) Bellwether: After all, you've just proven you're only in it for yourself, and the hell with the other people.

It's easier when you're just playing by yourself or with a few other people. It ends faster, and you have a lot more control over what you do, who you play with and how long you play. When you get into the more complicated area of guild play, however, there's much more to it than that.

In a twenty five man guild, twenty four (or more) other people depend on you to be there not just for yourself, but for the group as a whole. People want to be able to rely on you and trust you'll be there for them like they were for you. Show you're just there for that sweet trinket or weapon, and they'll be less inclined to give it to you. In fact, you're more liable to be replaced or phased out for someone new.

(1:44:53 AM) Paradox: There's a difference between "not going because there's no incentive for you" and "not going because it's not enjoyable for you."

(1:45:15 AM) Paradox: I'd be willing to go on a raid I didn't need just for kicks if that's what my friends were doing.

(1:45:48 AM) Paradox: I ran a few people I met in PUGs through low level instances for the hell of it on Duranon a few times.

(1:45:57 AM) Paradox: If you're bitching about it, you do not need to be there.

(1:46:46 AM) Bellwether: Like I said; it's different when you're in a raiding guild. And we have incentives that make people want to be valuable to us. Our most valuable players are the ones who do things for the good of everyone, even if maybe on that particular raid night we are not doing the bosses they like.

(1:47:16 AM) Bellwether: You cannot cater to the desires of 25+ people and have a functional raid.

Raiding guilds can get a lot of flak in this area for taking a game too seriously. If you aren't enjoying a game, you need to leave, stop playing, go do something else, right? Well, in a raiding guild, that's not always an option.

As mentioned previously, a guild wants to know you are valuable to them. The guild is already valuable to you; unless you can find another guild of similar or greater progression, you need the guild, as a working entity, to get to the content you want to see, to get the gear you want to wear, and to play the game where you've said you want to play.

Except on first boss kills (and sometimes not even then) you will probably never find a raid group of 25 people who are completely chill and totally happy about what's happening. The main goal is to maximize the enjoyment of the most raiders possible; when the amount not enjoying it exceeds the amount enjoying it, it is time to switch. If only one or two are upset...well, it is tough luck for them.

Sounds pretty mercenary, doesn't it? Mercenary, maybe, but necessary.

(1:47:43 AM) Paradox: Mmm. Sounds to me like raiding guilds just aren't where I wanna be.

(1:47:56 AM) Bellwether: It isn't for everyone.

(1:48:04 AM) Paradox: I'd like to do raids when I get back in, but the idea of being obligated to play a game just boggles my mind a bit.

(1:48:45 AM) Paradox: When you get to the point that you're complaining about what you're doing in the game beyond an occasional bitch about this or that minor thing, it's time to reevaluate things I think.

(1:49:03 AM) Bellwether: You're not obligated. You do exactly how much you want to/feel the need to -- and the guild makes a decision on whether or not you're the kind of person they want around.

(1:49:17 AM) Paradox: //shrug

(1:50:09 AM) Bellwether: There's no forcing. There are incentives, such as "if you prove you're unreliable, we will replace you." or "we can't trust you to show up when we need you so there isn't a real incentive for us to want to give you gear over the person who is always here when we need them."

(1:50:38 AM) Bellwether: Raiding doesn't work without synergy and people moving together towards a goal.

(1:50:57 AM) Bellwether: Sometimes, to get to the things you really want, you have to kill the boss you hate.

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need.

(1:51:33 AM) Paradox: Mmm. When/if I get back into it, I might give it a try. I do want to check out more endgame content.

(1:51:40 AM) Bellwether: You can pug a lot of it.

(1:51:50 AM) Bellwether: But you won't get as far as a real, organized guild.

(1:52:26 AM) Bellwether: (with good players; there are "real, organized" guilds who do not get as far as pugs because their player base is lacking)

(1:53:21 AM) Bellwether: Raiding guilds aren't for everyone, by any means. But if you want to try one, understanding the social difference is important.

WoW has admittedly gotten easier. But some things do not change, and that is the fact that to get as far as possible, as soon as possible, you need a dedicated, working group of good players who know how to play and who work together. And this means that, sometimes, you have to sacrifice what you want to do and get done what others need.

In a perfect world, everyone would love all the content, would love all the encounters, the trash, the grind. But that's never going to happen, so you have to seek the proper balance in your raiding. If it eventually turns out that the cons out weigh the pros, then raiding is not for you.

Just Because It's Easy

With the random dungeon finder, I've been getting in a lot of groups where people don't know what to do, don't understand, have never been in a heroic before...and hey, that would be fine.

See, I have no problem with people being new to an instance. That's totally cool; everyone starts sometime, somewhere. The problem is people don't try to learn.

What am I talking about?

Well, let's take three anecdotal examples from my experiences, shall we?

First, Oculus. Yay, Oculus! Some of you may know that I love Oculus. However, Blizzard has nerfed Oculus into the ground so hard I literally had a group member stand on the electrified floor without moving out of the sustained breath-beam-thing of a sky captain with little to no heals without dying. This is really teaching people get out of the fire skills, tell you what.

But I digress.

See, the whole group but me (on Sugarcake; almost all of my bad groups are on my huntard) and the Paladin healer had never been to Oculus before. So, the Paladin and I attempted to explain the layout, the bosses, how to avoid pulling a zillion blue drakes, how to use the drakes...and we got through everything by brute-forcing it, until we got to the last boss. Continual explanations, drake shifts to give them something easier weren't helpful. The tank couldn't even find the drake vendor, still, after wiping multiple times. No one was paying attention, at all. It's not even "vehicles are hard" at that point; it's "you're not trying to learn."

And then...Old Kingdom. Oh my goodness, Old Kingdom. I got this instance twice in a row, and both times I had to leave early because it was just not worth the repair bills anymore. I felt bad about it, but I just couldn't stay.

The first time, the tank had no idea where he was going. This is okay; everyone has their moments when they're learning an instance. But he wouldn't listen when the group tried to show him the correct way to go, instead running in circles around the first boss's area, pulling extra packs of mobs that actually ended up wiping us a couple times (because, hey, no one is controlling the insta-kill spell flingers, and when I try to freeze them in place the mage is purposely breaking my CC). It didn't help the healer was continually AFK (or unglyphed HT healing), either.

The second time in OK, the tank was "undergeared" (i.e. in blues). Now, obviously these heroics can be accomplished by "undergeared" people; we did it in the beginning of Wrath. However, this tank played like he was in ToC epics, pulling without worrying about control or even threat, really. So, of course, spell flingers were eating people, lots of wipes were had. After the second boss, the DK DPS pulled a second pack of adds for no reason and killed everyone but the rogue and I.

As the Rogue and I talked, we discussed how if we didn't Misdirect or Tricks the tank, the adds wouldn't get picked up; but if we did, then he would die. My CC would get broken. No one was using defensive cooldowns. The Holy Paladin was apparently half-awake, and the tank liked to die in a blaze of glory. Half the time the rogue was evasion tanking or I was kiting or my pet was tanking.

When the tank pulled an extra pack of mobs on his way back in, I apologized to the Rogue and left the group.

It is becoming somewhat common that I find people think just because it's easy, they can do it without any sort of thought or care. They try to brute-force everything because many things can be brute-forced. They don't take into account that their gear can't handle it, that some things still will one-shot them, that they need to pay attention.

I could see how the current content would breed that mindset. After all, I remember logging in early when ToC first came out, getting extra consumables and reagents and feasts and preparing myself to stay on late, because this new boss had to be hard. After all, it was after Ulduar, and with only releasing one boss at a time, it was going to require some work, right?

We killed Beasts in 2-3 shots and went back to Ulduar. This left us totally unprepared for Hardmode, as we'd been lulled into a false sense of security by the ease of normal.

Some of it could also be that people skipped the "hard heroics" like OK and Oculus with gear resets, and now think they can just merrily romp through collecting their badges with no idea what they're doing. Which is, in essence, the same thing.

Just because something is easy doesn't mean it can't kill you.

Just because something is easy doesn't mean you don't have to pay attention.

Just because something is easy doesn't mean you can slide through it.

Just because something is easy doesn't make you immortal.

So pay attention. If you don't know, ask. Do your own investigating, even if that means simply reading the text supplied to explain how your dragon works. Slow down. Mark groups. Don't break CC. Look where you're running. Listen to your group members. And remember:

Just because something is easy doesn't mean you can't mess it up.

Play Like a Girl?

Many of you know I have a Hunter. She's a female Dwarf named Sugarcake, and her pets are all named similarly silly things, like Sprinkles, Cinnamon, Gumdrop, etc. It is very, very (speaking in stereotypes) girly. Extremely girly. Like, Princess Lollipopsparklelips girly.

At first, I was kind of...well, kind of leery about the name. I honestly don't like attention focusing on my gender. Unless I know the people (like my guild or friends) and know they are joking around, it just serves to make me uncomfortable and awkward. I don't mind people knowing I'm female, just them making it into some sort of big deal or focus of conversation. Of course, writing an entire blog post about the subject undermines the idea that I dislike attention focusing on it, but I am able to disable that to explore something that intrigues me.

For example, a ToC 25 in which I was healing on Bellwether, my first comment in Vent brought about "cute" comments and "OMG A GIRL." Seriously, guys. Cut it out. Maybe pay attention to healing so I'm not doing 20-30% of overall healing done? Maybe? (I am not kidding about this).

The thing is, when I'm not in Vent, I'm automatically assumed to be a guy. Bellwether is perhaps somewhat neutral, but Bellbell and Sugarcake? Those are pretty cutesy names. I've seen a few guys with humorously cutesy names, but it's pretty rare. So what, then, is it that causes my characters to automatically be filed into the "male" category?

First and most obvious would probably be the prevalence of male players to female. Though there is not a huge, impassable gap, characters tend to be controlled by males more than females. At its end, I was the only raiding female in Vigilant, and one of three or so in the guild. We're by no means an endangered species, but we're certainly the less likely variety.

Next would be some stereotypical expectations of female players. One such expectation is us needing our hands held through everything. We will be bad. We will be low on DPS (LOL GURLS DONT DPS LOL). We won't be able to keep up. We will need special attention because we just don't know what's going on. Since I've been in a top raiding guild, and done very well for myself, the above doesn't apply. In fact, I am often the one leading the raid or group. I am the one giving the explanations and assignments. I am obviously not the princess-in-another-castle waiting for my plumber boyfriend to map warp his way to me.

Another expectation is in the way girls communicate. I know some of you have been in raids with sugar-sweet hyperactive flirty girls who punctuate every sentence with some word like "cute" "cutie" "sweetie" "<3" ";)" etc. They flirt with any player willing to respond (and some unwilling), whether they know them or not, and make any excuse to "pout" or inject sexual innuendo. Yeah. You all know what I'm talking about. In small doses or with friends and guildmembers, sure, that's cool. Everyone likes to be a little silly/flirty at times. But it's those who make it into their entire personality and force it upon strangers, who take a huge flashing sign and say "AMG I R A GURL PAY ATTENSHUN" that make me twitch. Gender does not make you special.

Like one of my previous, previous guildmates who alternates between acting like a concerned, condescending mother and an overly-flirty 13 year old, who dances naked/scantily clad at the South Bank and makes exaggerated squealing noises over anything "cute." While, you know, hitting on everyone and everything with two-handed weapon specialization. She also can't do anything wrong, is easy to upset, and likes to play damsel in distress. At the very least, she is a decent healer.

I don't act like that (I hope I don't act like that!). And thus Sugarcake and Bellbell and Bellwether are assumed male until proven guilty. It's odd to me, to realize my concerns about possibly being discriminated against because of my name (or even harassed, which has happened before with people who knew my gender) were completely irrelevant, because I don't "play like a girl." It's at both times a welcome relief and a concerning realization.

Enable Pet Bars 4 Haelz

Brajana over at Mend Pet is doing a great little contest for a great cause. It's the "Need More Stable Slots!" SPCA Charity Drive and Giveaway. It's a great idea, a great cause, close to a hunter's heart, and with great prizes.

I personally donated a prize. It's nothing as amazing as a custom-UI or personalized artwork, but it's a fun little in-game thing you can use to spruce up those five-minute bio-breaks.

What is it?

Goblinoid Resonant Electro-Neural Automatic Dancing Emitter!

Or...

Party G.R.E.N.A.D.E.!

These little buggers come in stacks of 100 and are usable by any level, so you can run around Dalaran spewing confetti. In the comments of WoWhead it will supposedly make hunter pets (bears, cats and wolves) dance as well. That may just be hearsay, but if it's true, just imagine it being every little animal you helped rescue with your donation celebrating their new luck in life!

Don't wait, just head on over and follow the directions, and in no time you'll be holding your tickets and waiting with bated breath for a fabulous prize!

To Flame or Not to Flame...

Image from the Lackadaisy webcomic.

This is not the third part of the installment involving raiding guilds pre-expansion. I apologize! This is just a question I would like to explore and hope my readers will as well. It would be sad if no one cared enough about me to answer my question, no? /guilt trip

Once upon a forum trolling, I came across a thread on my home server about a mage looking for a T5/T6 guild. The mage was one I had met before, on a Heroic Magister's run. Due to a bad pull, this mage died to too much AoE threat on the pulls before Vexallus. Nothing I could do to heal through so much damage at once. Since everyone else survived, he wanted a rez. There were two druids in the group (me and the tank) and no out of combat rezzers. So, we declined. It was right before Vexallus; the run couldn't take more than a minute.

Much drama followed, then a group quit, nasty whispers followed by /ignore. We got a lock, went through the rest of the instance without a hitch (best Demonology lock I've had the pleasure of playing with, and a polite, helpful attitude to boot), and that was that.

Well, now they want to be in a T5/T6 guild, putting themselves out on the forums. Those are guilds that, if the time comes I have the ability to raid again, I want to be in, and I do not want to be in a raid with this person. Especially since I will not take them off ignore (though that seems almost redundant, to ignore someone ignoring me).

So, the question is: do I say something in the thread to try and warn people of his bad attitude? In the end, I really owe nothing to the guilds in question. They're not my guilds, and may never be my guilds. I could just let it slide. Perhaps the player was just having a bad day, or perhaps he's had an attitude change since then. I don't do level 1 troll alts, either, so anything I would say would be on my druid. I know I don't want to raid with someone who throws a hissy fit about a minute walk back to his corpse and threatens to leave the group if he doesn't get a rez "next time."

All in all, he wasn't a horrible mage. He was decent at his class, but he had a terribly entitled attitude and expected catering to his whims, despite any impracticalities. Is it really my business to say anything? It's on the WoW forums, not some private app on a guild website, so they've basically opened themselves up to public criticism. However, so does anyone who posts, and it's difficult to phrase a warning about someone's bad attitude without sounding like a "butt hurt QQing nub." Which could actually devolve into me having to defend my ability to heal and childish confrontations like that. Though there are plenty of people who will defend me (scrubby as I am), I don't like when things spiral out of control.

Then, of course, there's the likely possibility I would not include my signature, simply to keep the flow of people into my blog reading that thread to a minimum. It's not something I would relish, any confrontation being dragged over here.

In the end it may be best simply to hold my tongue and go on about my business. But, my faithful audience, I must ask: how would you handle it? Would you post? If you did, would it be on an alt or a main? Would you ignore it on the forums, speak to the guilds that seem interested online, or would you just ignore it all together?