Into the Emerald Dream

EDIT: Sorry guys, until I reactivate the blog, comments are locked. This will keep me from having to police the comments for spam until then. If you need to contact me, please use 4haelz AT gmail DOT com. ♥

If you notice the blog template has changed, that is not a sign that 4Haelz is coming back, but rather that the other template was broken and I still have some pride with what I leave behind.

I know I have said for a while that once things slowed down, I would start reporting on the beta and testing things.

Unfortunately, it won't happen.

4 Haelz is closing. My time with WoW is over. Maybe temporarily, most likely permanently.

If it was just boredom with the current game, that could easily be overcome through my access to the beta. But I haven't logged into Cataclysm except twice since I got it. It holds no appeal.

I just recently got a job as a TSS (Therapeutic Staff Support), working with kids who have behavior and/or mental problems. Besides this, there are many different aspects of life I want to explore, including improving my art (two of the pieces in my gallery have Mature Content filters on them; i.e. NSFW) so I can perhaps take on more commissions such as what I do for BRK, actually sit down to write the book ideas I've had forever, whether or not they go anywhere publicly, and volunteer more at the animal shelter until (and probably after) I can afford to have my own dog. I also need to find another job, as my TSS position is only part time. I just recently purchased car insurance on my own policy for the first time, and paid to have the title of my car (that I am terrified will now break down spontaneously) into my own name.

I'm becoming an adult (or something similar), and frankly it is as terrifying as it is exciting. I just don't have the time, or inclination, to play WoW, and stringing you guys along saying how I'll get to it just isn't fair to either of us. Not fair to you because you wait for it, and not fair to me because then I'm forcing myself to play a game due to expectations I created.

My account has actually been canceled for nearly a month and a half, and I haven't been playing for longer. I wrestled with closing the blog, because I have possibly enjoyed writing in here as much as I had playing the game. When I received the beta, I had hoped it would rekindle things so I wouldn't have to close it. Then my guild collapsed, my friends transferred, and my boyfriend quit WoW immediately after I did. I felt the pull less and less.

It is sad for me, really. I played this game for nearly three and a half years without any account cancellations or real breaks. In that time I made a lot of friends, a few enemies, a couple creepy stalkers, and managed to become a trusted source of information and advice (who occasionally screwed up). I will really miss it.

I'll still be around on Twitter as @Bellbell, I'll still have my 4haelz AT gmail DOT com e-mail. You ever feel like chatting, hit me up. I've said before; I'm pretty friendly, and at the moment I just moved to the middle of the woods. I'm gonna attempt to be regular again about updating my RL blog, but that sounds super boring to you guys, I'm sure. My home life is unfortunately not a high flying adventure, QQ.

Who knows, maybe this isn't forever. Maybe I'll get the itch again and I'll have the time to scratch it, and Bellwether will romp through the plains of Azeroth. But, until that day, I will hibernate in the Emerald Dream, as all Druids eventually do.

Love you guys.

Beta: Sorry About the Teasing

In all honesty, I have not had any time to play the Beta. I've got some screenshots to share with you, and I'll hopefully be able to log in soon and get some real testing of the new tree done for you (and some frustrated grumblings as I try to walk in it, as well). I can't promise it will be soon, as I have a lot of real life, important, sometime urgent, things to sort out (a temporary move, apartment hunting, getting my first real, career-oriented job, purchasing car insurance for the first time on my own policy...), I will do my best. I'm as curious as you guys, so if there's anything specific you want me to look at, let me know.

So, in the meantime, here are your screenshots!











And hey, if you like Spirit Beasts and/or Hunters, check out the shirts BRK is selling (again, my design).

Didn't I Just Do This...?

So, I'm moving again. This should be the last time. Until then, I present you a link to a World of Warcraft special from CNN.

Link!

♥
I'll be back soon, you awesome readers, you.

Age, Gender and WoW

Not too many of you know this, but I am a soon-to-be 20 female who plays WoW. This isn’t overly special in and of itself; there are many women in my guild and in my old guilds, and I am friends with many more of all age groups. This isn’t actually, well, not completely, about being a young woman playing video games. This is more about being a young woman playing video games with older men.

Sounds awkward, doesn’t it? Say it out loud. Sounds even more awkward.

Personally, I’ve not had a problem with it. Thanks to the great interaction the WoW blogging community has experienced lately, I’ve met so many wonderful and amazing people, and age is just something I rarely think about when I’m on the internet, as little as I think about it in real life. I’m more focused on playing the game and having fun with people who want to play with me and enjoy my company.

Reality, however, is a cold, harsh mistress.

I still live with my parents, and sometimes I forget my headphones at one of their houses and then they’ll hear Vent, and the deep, masculine voices on the other end. And they start to ask questions. The obvious, concerned parent questions. Who is that? Who are you playing with? They sound…older.

Now, I was raised a little sheltered, a little protected. I was warned every single time I went online about giving out information and watching who I talked to and if I was going on that myspace thing to not use any personal pictures. I never did, and to this day I am very leery about putting my picture online. I’m a bit more open than before, but most of my “internet is an unsafe place” training is still locked in.

Besides this, a lot of modern cultures have an element of female paranoia (understandably) pervading the rearing of children. You’re taught not to trust strangers, especially men. Women do not walk alone, especially not at night. We need pepper spray and knives, and we have to watch our drinks constantly lest someone slip us something. We have to be careful and make sure someone is really being a nice guy, not just trying to trick us into going down a dark alley never to be seen again. Men can’t play with little children not their own without being seen as “too friendly.”

So, where does this leave me?

I can’t lie to my parents, I refuse to. I’m still in awe that, even with the whole generation gap, these people find me interesting and worth their time. I’ve been to plenty of social events where I’ve been stuck in an awkward place, too young to talk with the adults and too old to chill with the angsty preteens. My only recourse is generally to play make-believe with the small children and run around being dragons and care bears (though, honestly, I do really enjoy that). Needless to say, though, when you answer “he’s a something year old man living in such and such a place” it can set off warning bells in any parent’s mind. After all, it is difficult to imagine what interest a man over a decade or so a girl’s senior can have in her.

Even writing this post is awkward. I look over it and wonder how I can say this without offending my friends or putting people on their guard. Yes, the internet is a dangerous place, you have to be careful. You can get taken advantage of and hurt and tricked and fooled. But at the same time, the internet is changing the world. I can play WoW with a twelve year old girl and organize a raid with a 40 year old man. I can chat about blogging with a grandfather and help a 15 year old spec their druid. The internet becomes a sort of equalizer, and WoW moreso. Most people just want to play the game, and they find friends who are good players and just go from there. You find things in common, chat about interests, have a good time and get your goretusk livers along the way.

Times, they are a-changin’. I’m still going to be careful when I’m online, and I don’t just hang out with anyone who comes along. But I’m not going to let something silly like age dictate who I play with. That would lock me out of meeting and hanging out with some of the coolest people I’ve known to date.