Well, that’s extremely ambiguous, so let me explain. It all started with reading Bear’s post looking for new members for Sidhe Devils. I’m a member of that guild, and log on every once in a while to chat and hang out. They’re a great group and I am quite fond of them. However, something Bear said in his post made me come to a realization.
We have had a lot of good folks join that play a main character on another server, and are just joining SD to touch base once in a while and say hello. That’s always been fine with us, but those folks aren’t actually members of the community. They are friends passing through and saying hello, but they are not shaping the guild with their actions and creating the shared history the guild has together.
Don’t get me wrong. Bear is spot-on, and I don’t begrudge him saying it. The thing is, I don’t have a solid, tight-knit community, really, not anymore. I've been guildless for a while, and that's what a guild represents to me.
After Sunder split, all my friends split. I have friends in Vigilant, Fear Engine, OverWhelming, Specced for Awesome, The Dragon Reborn, Republic, Trial Expired, Kind of a Big Deal, Injustice and so many more. And that’s just Alliance-side! I’ve been invited to join a lot of guilds, but…nothing feels like home. With all my friends split up, and my inability to maintain a weekly schedule due to job and class responsibilities, I can’t choose one, not even based upon raiding availability. My schedule is a large part, possibly, of what is keeping me distant.
More than that, I'm not ready to be in a guild again. I keep joining, and they keep collapsing or friends split off and leave or they're not what I expected. I suppose it feels "safer" to not join a guild or community and therefore not be hurt when the time I invest in seeing it succeed goes down the tubes. I suppose that's a bit of a pessimistic outlook, but lately that seems to have been the more likely outcome.
Now, I have a community, per se. Wonderful friends who play with me all the time, and who love to hang out with me. They make time for me, they take me on their raids and heroics, they help me with quests and we compliment each other with our professions. The component missing is that elusive home.
But what is "home"? I don't actually know what I'm looking for. So, at this point, it's probably better for me not to be in a guild on Bellwether until I figure it out. I've been suggested a fresh start on another server, but I’ve played on Dark Iron for almost three years. I know the people. I know the community. I know the inside jokes, the forum crowd, the trade chat. I know the ninjas, the bad guilds, the good guilds, the gankers and the gank zones. I have a friends list full to the brim. I don’t want to leave. I just can’t feel confident enough to find a home if I transfer, either, when I don't know people on other PvP servers (and I have to play on a PvP server; it would kill me not to) and I don't know what I'm looking for, which is probably the most important factor.
So, how about you guys? Anyone else out there still recovering from guild-loss disappointment? Perhaps you also don't know what you want? Maybe you've recovered and would like to share how you found what you wanted?
I'm all ears! (Literally, have you seen these things? Giant purple sails!)