Monday, September 22, 2008

Explanations, Ponies and Blasphemy

All right, I’m going!

Sheesh, she’s been so pushy lately. I mean, what’s a paladin got to do to get a break around here?

Oh, and now I’m apparently talking too loud. She’s got a hangover from Brewfest, that lush. And no Kodo, either. Though, I suppose she could maybe deserve the break. Bellwether apparently just got a new job and she has intensive Uni courses, and her computer decided to be a royal bitch and refuse to run WoW without regularly freezing and killing itself (and subsequently me and her). She said something about it being outdated before it was even off the shelves, but she's probably getting a new one. Or something.

But, anyway, I doubt you care about why she’s been gone. You’re probably all like Button, who is sitting there going “I don’t care that you’re tired! You have to post! I don’t care about that stats test or Japanese blog or thesis paper, write about dr00ds or something!” I’d forgive him, as he’s just sore about the royal ass-kicking Sharlet handed him, except Bellwether’s making me write something for you all, and she demands I don’t get blood on the paper.

Such a perfectionist, really.

Anyway, you guys haven’t really heard from me since I was chewing out that hunter who’s doing naughty things with pets on the beta. Since then I’ve gained a ton of levels, replaced Princess Sparklebutt with the as of yet unnamed but shinier Charger, and gotten perhaps the sexiest weapon on the planet (if it was alive I would marry it and we would have dangerous little spiky paladin babies).

Anyway. I suppose you’re wondering how I did it. After all, Bellwether is a failure at leveling alts! It’s true, just ask her.

Well, it’s because I didn’t have to do anything. No, really. I just hit auto-follow and Sharlet has decimated Razor Fen Downs(1), Zul’Farrak(2), Mara(1), Sunken Temple(1), Scholomance(3-4), Dire Maul(1), Stratholme(2), Ramparts(2) and Blood Furnace(1). Those numbers are how many times he took me through. He let me attack Horde with little interference other than cleansing fears off me, and decimated any ganker who thought I might be easy prey. When your bodyguard is a titled and T6+Brutal Paladin, you're almost guaranteed an easy experience in PvP zones.

Okay, so that’s not entirely true about the auto-follow; I’ve done some leveling on my own. I’ve done almost every quest in Hellfire Peninsula, even ones Bellwether never did! She was astounded when I told her about bombing runs and burning blade throwers.

Of course, she was a pansy little healer trying to solo everything, so I guess it’s to be expected she’d miss out on a lot. Those ravagers she had to sneak around to get eggs, I just cut them down.

DPS is delicious.

Bellwether’s been pushing me lately. She wants me to play in Kara before the expansion, as it’s apparently an undeath-fest and I’ll get to Exorcise with impunity. Perhaps even Turn some Evil!

It might be blasphemous, but by the Light, I love undead. They’re so delightfully fragile.

So, that’s it. While Bellwether gets drunk at Brewfest and does school work (in, perhaps, that order), I’m ripping Outlands apart in the hopes I can slash Arthas in two. I may be an embarrassment to the Light, but I sure as hell am not some emo boohoo why does no one love me no one understands my pain I’m so mistreated Death Knight.


Megan said...

You had me at "Princess Sparklebutt."

Jordan said...

Due to the fiendish Princess Theradras, I'd thought you removed the Princess prefix from the mounts monumental name?

Khol Drake said...

It's okay to love the undead, as long as you don't LOVE the undead...

Undead girls gone wild FT?

Button said...

The ass-kicking wasn't *that* bad. And besides, just wait, there'll be a rematch eventually.

...okay it was pretty bad.

But Button just got back into the swing of the PvP-game and has been hacking and slashing his way through everything from AV to EotS, even taking a little joyride through Auchindoun to see what fights he could pick. He's gotten back his timing at pummels and intercept stun, and MIGHT be getting a mace from his honor (although he doubts it, he really loves his sword), so expect a revamped, old school-style beating.

Or maybe I'll just lose again.

Ciao :D

Bell said...

@Megan - thanks for the name for my Charger!

@Jordan - we don't speak about that.

@Khol Drake - we all know you have the hots for Dangermouse.

@Button - ♥ you really

Khol Drake said...

You can't prove that! :D